


Je veux ton amour

by sashushilda



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Crowley is a poet, Crowley is full of surprises, Established Relationship, Humor, Ineffable Husbands (Good Omens), M/M, Pop Culture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-07
Updated: 2020-02-07
Packaged: 2021-02-27 20:27:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,894
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22601698
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sashushilda/pseuds/sashushilda
Summary: Crowley is a song-writer, except his most famous songs are not the ones you'd expect.------------“You mean to say that song was about me? You wanted me to hit you?”
Relationships: Aziraphale & Crowley (Good Omens), Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Kudos: 28





	Je veux ton amour

**Author's Note:**

> So I was listening to some pop songs and of course they were about love and of course I thought about ineffable husbands and it led to this.  
> Any resemblance to actual song lyrics is purely intentional.

Two years after Armageddidn't the angel got peckish for Ben's cookies, so his partner, who he was in an open relationship with, took him to Covent Garden. As they were walking, Aziraphale kept vocalising whether he wanted a Matcha and White Chocolate cookie or a Ginger and Dark chocolate one. He really loved matcha, but ginger was classic and he hadn't eaten it in a long time.

"Don't see a problem here, pookie, just get both." his partner, Crowley, interrupted as Aziraphale was inhaling deep before jumping back into the current of his wet cookie dreams.

"I really shouldn't! That would be too much." the angel lowered his head and shook it sadly.

"Two cookies? Too much? You alright here?" Crowley stopped and touched Aziraphale's forehead with fake concern. "Should I call Anathema so that she brews a potion for my ill angel?"

Aziraphale, irritated, brushed his hand away. "Stop it, you unclean spirit! What on Earth made you think I was going for one cookie?" he pursed his lips and straightened his jacket lapels. "I'm taking one of each, except for one. Don't want to grow tired of the taste, so I always try to mix them."

Aziraphale kept walking away head held up high as Crowley laughed at his back. That's when Aziraphale set his mind on ginger, since he knew it was a remedy for illnesses and now his illness was called “ _I want to smack the one I love_ ", not angelic at all.

When they arrived at the small booth in Covent Garden, Crowley paid for everything, asked for a nice box and even bought a matcha cookie claiming it was for himself, but they both knew that never had he ever intoxicated his body with ridiculous amounts of sugar. Aziraphale cradled the box with one hand and took Crowley's arm with the other. His spirits had lifted substantially, the demon was forgiven and all he could think about was the backroom of the bookshop, a mug of cocoa (more sugar, yes, please), a book and Crowley's head in his lap. Of course the demon would complain about cookie crumbs falling on his face and getting in his hair, but that was part of the idyll.

Having almost left the square, Aziraphale heard a busker and dragged Crowley to listen to the musician. Crowley growled and even tried to bury his heels in concrete to stop the angel from putting him through such an ordeal, but it didn't work.

The girl played the keyboard quite pleasantly, she opened her mouth to start singing and...

"Oh, my." Aziraphale tutted.

Turned out there was a reason why no one was listening to her and the reason was the voice, well, lack of it. She was putting herself into it, but all the effort was wasted. Aziraphale felt bad for her.

"We should do something, poor thing."

"Yeah, make her mute, end her suffering. And ours."

Crowley tried to pull Aziraphale away, but the angel managed to free his arm and waved a hand. The girl, as if by some miracle, started to sound nice, moving, talented. She didn't notice any difference since she sincerely believed that had been her voice all along. Aziraphale looked at Crowley and smiled triumphantly.

"You're too good for this world." Crowley concluded and gave him a smooch on the temple.

Just then the girl started another song and Crowley rolled his eyes. "Of course."

"What is it, dear?"

"Nah, nevermind. Interesting song choice, that all."

The song was about some kind of an unfortunate love story, where the protagonist roared a lot, mentioned an ancient city, asked her love interest to stop being friends and engage in a romantic relationship, oh and also claimed to be a free person. Aziraphale hadn't heard the song before, and although a bit naughty, it sounded nice. People started gathering and by the time Crowley and Aziraphale decided to leave, everyone was cheering and singing along.

Crowley had to push through the crowd muttering something like " _this is crazy_ " and " _I regret this one_ ". He was sure his words didn't reach Aziraphale, but that was where he was wrong. The angel was too busy following Crowley's quick footsteps to ask questions, but made a mental note to discuss it later.

As they finally reached a clearing, Aziraphale still holding his precious box and Crowley still grumpy, they exchanged glances and silently agreed to retreat as far as possible from the bustle.

The furthest point turned out to be just off the Strand where Aziraphale spotted a new café. And, well, could Crowley say no to that? The place was nothing special, just another spot for people to take pictures of food and instagram the heaven out of it. Aziraphale didn’t even make noises when he tried the salmon poke bowl. Crowley could start a food review account and rate places according to the sounds Aziraphale made, but there was little possibility the angel would approve.

When Aziraphale gave up on the dish completely, he needed something to occupy his mind so as not to get too disappointed about bad food. He decided to talk.

“Well? Are you going to tell me why you got so fussy?”

“Ngk?”

“Mm-hm, back in Covent Garden.”

“Er, this. Yes. I wouldn’t go as far as to call it fussy, but yeah.”

“That’s not very detailed.” Aziraphale glanced at him expectantly.

“You really don’t want any mystery between us?” Crowley was grasping at straws. “What about keeping romance alive, all the guessing and wondering?..”

“I think I’ve had enough of it over the six millennia, darling. Cough it up!”

“Please don’t use this phrase again. Ever.” Crowley winced. “You know that modern slang or any kind of slang doesn’t suit you. Don’t be pressured to use it, you’re perfect as you are, angel.” he put his hand on Aziraphale’s, but the angel quickly took it away.

“Don’t try to sweet talk me, demon.”

Crowley chuckled and threw his arms up, that had been his last resort and he had nothing else up his sleeve. “Ok, ok. I may have written that song, _Bad Romance_ , I mean. The one she was wailing.”

“You? You write songs?” that was the last thing Aziraphale could think of as an explanation.

“H’m,” Crowley waved his hand, “better say occasionally inspire someone to write down what I have on my mind and create a cheesy pop song out of it.”

Aziraphale had so many questions he couldn’t bring himself to choose the first, but he had to start somewhere, so he picked the most obvious one. “But why?”

Crowley lowered his head, glanced at the angel above his sunglasses and smirked. “I’m a demon, aren’t I? Imagine millions of people singing, chanting, murmuring a song they can’t get out of their heads. It’s the first thing they start doing when they wake up and the last thing that’s on their minds before they fall asleep. It drives them crazy.”

“But how do you know if it will work?”

“Oh, it always does. Don’t believe me, just watch.”

Crowley snapped his fingers and the music in the café changed. Suddenly every single person lifted their eyes, Aziraphale heard a couple of grunts and _“Can’t believe they’re playing it”_ s. They didn’t seem to like it and he could see their point – the singer demanded to be hit repeatedly because she felt lonely. A minute passed and people started to tap their feet to the rhythm and nodding their heads slightly without even noticing. The song finished and things came back to normal.

Aziraphale opened his mouth to speak, but Crowley gestured for him to wait and raised an open palm to his ear – _listen_.

He concentrated on the sounds and heard several different people go “ _Don’t you know I still believe_ ”, “ _Give me a sign_ ” and “ _Show me, how you want it to be_ ”.

“You’re doing this to them right now, aren’t you?”

“No! Once the song is out, they start doing it to themselves, that’s the whole point!” Crowley put his hands behind his head with a proud look on his face.

“I still don’t understand. You don’t ever listen to this kind of music, I’m pretty sure you don’t like it. It doesn’t sound like Queen, or Velvet Underground, or Motorhead.”

Crowley sighed. “Look, I’d be happy to claim Love of My Life or Pale Blue Eyes, ok? But once I had the idea of writing songs, I quickly discovered I wasn’t… talented enough to produce anything more than this. So I took advantage of it and got myself a commendation down there.”

“Let me get this clear,” Aziraphale tapped the table with his palms. “you _wanted_ to write songs?”

“Yeah, decided to give it a go at some point.”

“But why?” _why why why_ was all Aziraphale was thinking about.

Crowley gave him a warm smile and scoffed. “Don’t be stupid, sweet creation of the universe. I got inspired.” Seeing that Aziraphale still didn’t get a hint, he continued, “I was thinking about you all the time and since I couldn’t say it to your face, I wanted to express myself in a way that was timely and stylish. Guess I didn’t succeed with the latter, but still got some profit.”

Aziraphale’s flabbergasted expression was something Crowley wanted to commit to memory for centuries to come.

“You mean to say _that_ song was about me? You wanted me to hit you?” Aziraphale was desperately trying to remember the entire lyrics, but only had “ _hit me baby one more time_ ” stuck in his mind.

“ _Hit me_ as in _call me_ , stupid! I’m not into bdsm practices.” he paused. “I wasn’t back then.”

“Oh, Crowley!” Aziraphale wanted to leap up from his seat and squeeze the life out of his demon. Who would have though Crowley loved him that much? (the answer is _everyone_ , except for one very thick angel) “You must make me a, what’s it called, mixtape! I want to listen to all of the songs your poetic soul produced.”

“Never. I’d rather turn back time and let Adam destroy the world.”

“Well, if you change your mind, I’m the first in line to listen to that mixtape. What’s the problem, baby?” Aziraphale mused. “Anyway, shall we go try all these delightful biscuits?”

Crowley’s mouth hung open for a couple of seconds and he started to suspect he somehow had projected his own thoughts into angel’s head, otherwise… _how_? Aziraphale stopped, turned around and added:

“But I still don't understand just how your love can do what no one else can.”

That’s when Crowley decided to make a bloody mixtape with some of his all-time hit songs. Of course Aziraphale would have to buy a modern cassette recorder, but it was time for him to catch up with technology.

The mixtape turned out two-sided and went like this:

_Side A:_

_Lady Gaga – Bad Romance_

_Maroon 5 – Sugar_

_Britney Spears – Baby One More Time_

_ABBA – Take a Chance on Me_

_Rihanna – Umbrella_

_Counting Crows – Accidentally in Love_

_Beyoncé – Crazy in Love_

_Backstreet Boys – I Want It That Way_

_Side B:_

_Lady Gaga – Poker Face_

_Kylie Minogue – Can’t Get You Out of My Head_

_Bonnie Tyler – Total Eclipse of the Heart_

_Madonna – Like a Virgin_

_Spice Girls - Wannabe_

_Macy Gray – I Try_

_Aqua – Turn Back Time_

_Robbie Williams - Angels_

[The Mixtape](https://imgur.com/iY1QdiY)

**Author's Note:**

> Just want to mention that I love all the songs listed on the mixtape, but we have to agree that they're catchy as hell.  
> Oh, and if you wonder about "pookie", then maybe Crowley and Aziraphale went to see a new production of "Rent" recently.


End file.
